Among the Ruins

This evening I found a poem by Kristin Kroy. It went;

Before I put myself back together,

I spent some time among the ruins;

a dark and magnificent place

where I got to know

all the pieces of my soul -

pieces of me

that I didn't even know existed.

That sums up the end of 2021 and the whole of 2022 for me. Trauma and anxiety tormented me in ways that I never expected. It seems as though 5 years away from Zimbabwe as well as COVID19 stripped me away of my in-person social skills, and I couldn't cope with the heightened social environment that circulates Zimbabwe. I had been humiliated in ways that I never expected, lost trust in so many relationships, struggled to operate in news ones and experienced a shattered sense of self whilst watching my oldest son experience many similar difficulties at six years old. How do you show up for someone when you can't even show up for yourself?